To look at Jessica*, you’d never guess what she faces on a daily basis. Long, rich brown hair, a lean well-shaped figure, and a smile that could light New York City. Yet, a deadly killer lives inside her–growing. In her second bout of cancer, Jessica fights a battle against the enemy within.
When I asked how she was doing and how I could pray, Jessica said simply, “Pray that God blesses all I’m doing to get this out of me.” To defeat the cancer, Jessica has radically changed her life. She follows a strict nutritional regimen, exercises, and has retrained herself on managing stress. She knows her healing is ultimately in God’s hands, but she endeavors to live a daily response to His healthy principles in the hopes that her body will fight off this killer.
In talking with her, I realize we are really no different. We both have an enemy within that threatens to destroy. We both ultimately rest in Jesus for our healing. At the same time we both have a daily duty to reorient our lives to respond to God’s life-giving.
At this Christmas season, I live in awe of a God who would give up heaven, the adoration of angels, and limitlessness to come to a dirty stable, filled with mocking people, and be constrained by the helplessness of a newborn. Jesus did all this to personally say, “I love you, and I want you to know Me.” I came to be here. . .with you.
I live in greater awe that He came as the means, not just of sharing life, but of saving us from the enemy in us. That He chooses to live in us to defeat that enemy.
I see Jessica’s desperation. She knows her life is on the line. She has responded by fully committing to a way that leads to life. I pray to be that desperate.
I pray my desperation leads me to walk more closely with Christ. Knowing all He has already done, I pray that I can use this coming year to cooperate in His work in me more fully. To radically change my life and my lifestyle to be in full conformity with Him.
I pray for the daily commitment to looking into His eyes to see whether my actions please Him. To ask myself daily:
- Am I showing grace to my husband, children, friends, and strangers?
- Are my reactions bathed in patience and gentleness?
- Am I spending the best moments of my day talking with Jesus about His plans for my day and then the rest of the moments obediently carrying those out?
- Am I willing to accept unanswered prayers and disappointments as a necessary part of God’s plan rather than seeing them as a failure of God to reward me as I deserve?
- Am I living for God or for me?
As I look to the coming year–I long for so many things. That diversity can scatter my focus and leave me unproductive. Jessica has offered a lesson in focus. I resolve this year to pray daily for a dependency on God’s work in me and a willingness to engage in those efforts in my control to live for Christ and for His work to bring healing and life to my soul. I pray for defeat of the enemy within.
* Name changed.
Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.