Are you a dream killer or a dream builder?
Parents tend to fall into one of the two categories. Dream killers listen to their child’s dream, then point out every obstacle, every reason the dream will fail. Dream builders listen to their child’s dream, then find ways to nurture the dream and help their child succeed. Challenge for the summer–help your child build one dream.
Alan Scott offers a prime example of a dream-building dad. His son, Hunter, chose a near-impossible dream. As a history project for school, Hunter interviewed a sailor who survived the sinking of the U.S.S. Indianapolis. Becoming enthralled with the stories of heroism and courage he heard, Hunter was devastated to learn the Captain of the ship, Charles McVay III, had been court-martialed to cover for a variety of military mistakes. Hunter determined to use his history project to overturn the verdict and restore Captain McVay’s good name.
Mr. Scott could have pointed out that the court martial occurred 41 years before, that Hunter’s eleven years of experience were no match for the United States Navy, that McVay’s death rendered clearing his name irrelevant. Instead, Mr. Scott chose to be a dream builder.
He drove Hunter to interviews and libraries for his research, comforted Hunter when his project was disqualified on a minor technicality from the national competition that would have brought attention to the issue, and supported Hunter at every stage of preparing and presenting his research.
The result? Captain McVay’s name now stands clear of any wrongdoing.
Some aspects we will have to do. Hunter couldn’t drive, so dad had to. But, Hunter set up the interviews, read the notes, wrote the paper, created the display. For our son, we bought the food, supplied the camera, and set up tents in the backyard for friends to sleep over the week of filming. But, son wrote the script, planned the filming schedule, directed the players, and edited the hours of film into a final story.
Finding the balance between equipping and taking over challenges most parents. Being a dream builder doesn’t come naturally–we’re often too pragmatic, too concerned with protecting our children from failure, too worried that our child’s missteps will reflect poorly on us. But, investing in our children’s dreams is worth it. When we listen to the passions of our child’s heart and spend our time and resources to encourage the exploration of those, we communicate in a myriad of ways, “You matter.”
So, over the course of the next few weeks, listen to the desires of your children, then ask them which of these desires they would like to achieve before school starts–or at least begin pursuing. What better investment of summer? Build on the passion God has placed in you child; connect with your child at his deepest heart level; become a dream builder.
Tess Worrell writes and speaks to groups regarding issues of family life and living as a Godly woman. She and husband, Mike Worrell, live in Madison, Indiana, where they are in their 14th year of home schooling. She would love to hear your insights. Comment here or email her at tess@YourFamilyMatterstous.com. If you would like Tess to speak to your home school or church group, you can learn more about her speaking at YourFamilyMatterstous.com.