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This post is dedicated to everyone
who has ever lain awake worrying over something,
or might ever be tempted to. . .

At 5:12 last Wednesday morning the lights came on.

No, not the electric lights.  Something dawned on my heart–and I realized something.

I awoke to use the bathroom, and as I got out of bed, I began to marvel.  The things I have historically worried about in the night are never the really “big” things.  The things I know I have absolutely no control over–and that are entirely in God’s hands–are not the things that keep me awake.

No, what keeps me awake are those smaller things that I think I have some control over.  The things I think are up to me, that I somehow control the outcome of.  I lie awake concerned about how I am going to get them done.

And then it hit me.  This line I’ve drawn between what’s in my control and what’s in God’s control is an illusion–it’s a non-existent line!  There’s really no difference at all.  He is sovereign over the big things, and He’s no less sovereign over the small ones.  What ever was I thinking?!  He reminded me that apart from Him I can do nothing (John 15).  My life is fruitful only as I depend on Him.  And His power to mastermind and accomplish the big things is more than sufficient for the smaller things of my life.

So I resolved to retire from my night job as worrier.  I’ve known all along it wasn’t right, but somehow, I kept getting pulled into it.  Without actually consciously acknowledging it, I sort of imagined that I ultimately had control over the things I stayed awake over.

I’m learning to trust Him more.

“Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God,
for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence.
The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime;
And His song will be with me in the night*,
A prayer to the God of my life.
Hope in God,
for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance, and my God.”
Psalm 42:5, 8, 11b
P.S. * So I’ve taken a new a new night job (when I’m not asleep, that is).  I’m singing His song.

Homeschooling with her husband, Scott, since 2001, Carol believes nothing is too difficult for God.  She is a passionate encourager and loves using creative means–including writing music, singing, speaking, and blogging–to encourage others to trust God through all the adventures He calls them to.  You can read more from her at her Unsmotherable Delight blog (udelight.blogspot.com), where you’ll find faith-filled original songs, favorite scriptures, family stories, and even a little film about adoption, all designed to inspire and lift your spirit.  Her original ‘theme song’ titled Captain’s Anthem can be heard on Vimeo at http://vimeo.com/30769152.

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.