“A kindhearted woman gains respect.” Prov.11:16a

How many moms long for their children to respect them? I know I do. 

Respect conveys a starting assumption that the other person is valued–worthy of listening to and regarding well. I’ve seen other moms strive for respect, long for respect, and even demand respect. Yet, how often do we see kindness as a  key component of gaining what we so desire? When I came across this verse recently, I was struck by the simple prescription. And how often I may miss it.

In my desire to train up my children well, I too often confuse respect with agreement. When disagreement comes, I can easily fall into a tug of war with my children and lose sight of being kind in the effort to demonstrate I am right. In the busyness of life, I too often focus on getting people where they need to be or accomplishing an endless to-do list and lose sight of being kind in the effort to be on time. In trying to impose order on a house that seemingly insists on falling into disarray no matter how much I work, I can begin to order my children like servants and lose sight of being kind in the effort to be done.

To be sure, respect contains many other components. Yet, I as I engage in discussions, steer my family to destinations, or ask for help with chores I am struck anew by the need to focus on letting the fruit of the Spirit guide my everyday interactions–in particular the fruit of kindness. In so doing, I may gain the very respect that becomes the foundation of all the mothering God calls me to do.